Well, you’re flattered. She likes you and had the courageto ask you out on a date. Too bad you’re not interested.The answer is “no.” So how can a guy reject a woman withoutfeeling like a jerk?
Go the quick and easy route, said Hedda Muskat, author of”Dating Confidential” (Sourcebooks; $12.99) and a formerproducer/writer for “Love Connection.”
“You are much better off being bold and frank in the beginning,”Muskat said. “If you b.s. them, you risk hurting them in thelong run.”
Avoid such lies as “I already have a girlfriend” or “I’m busyFriday night.” With the latter, a woman is likely to ask aboutother days that might work. Instead, Muskat recommends guyssimply say, “I’m not available” and leave it at that.
“He shouldn’t say why,” Muskat said. “She’s not deserving ofa reason why; they have no relationship.”
A guy might have a working relationship with the woman or livein the same apartment building. Either way, Muskat said a guyshouldn’t feel guilty every time he sees the woman he rejected.”If you have to bump into her in the hallway or the laundryroom, let her run and hide, not you,” she said.
Most women can handle the rejection, as long as it’s quick andvague. So don’t agree to give a woman your cell phone number ifyou know the answer is no when she calls. “Never give out yourcell phone number,” Muskat said. “You have to say, ‘I’m notcomfortable.’”
Most women can take the hint, but others will stand with thecell phone in hand and demand the digits. Don’t worry abouthurting feelings if a woman is pushy and won’t take no foran answer. “She’s being a stalker and that’s pretty disgusting,”Muskat said.
Guys trying to dodge stalkers should be polite but firm. If thewoman continues to push, Muskat recommends being blunt. “He needsto say, ‘I don’t know what more I can tell you, I’ve been verynice to you, but you really need to back off.’ It’s OK to be ajerk back,” she said.
